Let's Walk Down the Road that has No End
by PrincessBellePrinceAdam
Summary: You've lost track of how many times you should have died by now.


_A/N: So I loved Days of Future Past so much (except the ending) but it needed more Bobby. I thought it might be fun (and by fun I mean painful) to kind of explore what might have been going on in his head while Kitty was sending Logan back through time. For extra fun I wrote it in second person because I never write second person._

_I tried to get the dialogue as accurate as possible. Also I wasn't really sure what the timeline is during the future scenes. I know the younger professor said at one point Logan had been with them for a couple of days so I'm assuming a few days passed in the future as well._

_Also this is like the first fic I've actually finished in like six months so I hope I'm not too rusty. The title is taken from the song "C'est la mort" by the Civil Wars because it gives me icecat feels._

**Let's Walk Down the Road that has No End**

You aren't crazy about this idea. In fact, you hate it.

You get the logic behind it, of course. A chance to make sure none of this ever happened? That should be a godsend.

You just wish it didn't have to involve Kitty. It will be different sending Logan back than it is when she sends Bishop. She will be significantly weakened and exposed. She will have no chance to flee when the Sentinels come. And they always come.

You have no doubts that if anyone can do this, it's her. You remember when she first came up with the idea of sending Bishop back to warn them. The rest of your little team was surprised, but you weren't. Kitty's brilliant; of course she's the one who figures out how to keep you all alive. Kind of, anyway.

You've lost track of how many times you should have died by now.

Still, though. You hate this idea. It is your job to protect her. It has been ever since you broke her out of that concentration camp and smashed the inhibitor collar that had adorned her neck. You still remember how tightly you had held her, how grateful you were to see her. Maybe she was not well, but at least she was _alive_.

You still remember her screams as nightmares came to her even weeks after her escape. You remember how she shook and whimpered in your arms even as you assured her no one was going to hurt her as long as you were around.

You _hate_ this idea.

You hear the professor and Magneto quietly giving Logan instructions as the five of you walk into the chamber. Storm, Colossus, Bishop, and all the others go off to guard the temple. You know you really should be finding yourself a spot among them, but you don't. You are not about to leave her alone to do this.

Logan looks for something to barricade the outer door with. Kitty's gaze locks onto yours. You can tell she knows you have no intention of leaving her side and she doesn't argue that you would be more useful outside. She is just as fiercely protective of you as you are of her. You know if your positions were reversed she would insist on staying with you.

"It'll be okay," she says softly. You know she should not be comforting you when she is the one who is about to put her life on the line. You wish you believed her, but it's hard to be hopeful when you have seen what you've seen.

They're ready to start. Logan lies down on the stone slab and Kitty positions herself near his head. She explains how whatever he changes will be the only history the rest of them remember. He's also told how vulnerable Kitty will be, which you appreciate.

Logan is told to think peaceful thoughts, which makes you want to snort. Peaceful is definitely not a word you associate with Logan. Instead, you focus on Kitty. It occurs to you that you have never actually seen her send someone back before. Your job is always to be bait, a distraction.

"You won't have much time in the past. The Sentinels will find us. They always do," you put in. You aren't a fan of the cynical tone your voice takes on. This is not the person you want to be.

It seems to go well at first. You know you really should be out on the front lines but you tell yourself that you are the last line of defense for Kitty. It makes you feel a little less useless.

No one speaks. All of Kitty's concentration is focused on Logan. Who knows what Professor Xavier and Magneto are thinking. Your mind wants to wander down dark paths, terrible _what ifs_, but you force yourself to stop. What good does it do, really?

You look over at Kitty, so sober and determined. The very least you can do for her is try to think positive thoughts.

XxXxX

Nothing has happened for what seems like ages. You feel restless. The others have come in to eat and rest in shifts, never leaving the temple completely unguarded. You wish these luxuries could be afforded to Kitty, but she soldiers on bravely.

You coax small bites of food into her for awhile. It's a long process but you are glad to do it. You're worried this is already becoming too much for her. There is not much else you can do to make this easier.

XxXxX

You start trying to picture what the new future will be like. Before all of this happened, before the Sentinels sent you running for your life, you always thought that you'd be a teacher at the school. You're good with numbers, which you remember surprising a lot of people. You thought you'd teach math, and maybe help with the school's books.

It would be the best, you remember thinking. You could help mentor younger students just as Scott and Jean and Storm had all done for you. You'd never be far from the action, either, by staying on at the institute. It was all you wanted, to be an X-Man. Since the first time you got to put on that uniform, it was all you wanted.

Well, you're certainly never far from the action now, you think wryly.

You regret your former way of thinking. Now you know you were just a stupid kid, thinking that the mundane was not good enough for you. Now you crave the mundane, crave it like a drug. What you wouldn't give for some semblance of normal.

You understand now why they say hindsight is 20/20.

You wonder if you will still be with Kitty in the new future. Maybe there you found your way back to her under better circumstances, ones that don't involve nightmares and constant running and hiding. In the new future, you hope that she's getting to make the kind of difference you know she's capable of. You imagine she will probably be the leading expert in some field you can't pronounce and that she'll have made a lot of important contributions to the world. You picture yourself the proud boyfriend...husband, maybe?

Maybe you have a family. It's a nice thought. A future worth having, a safer world...

It's a nice thought.

XxXxX

These thoughts are ripped away from you when Logan begins to cry out. You hear the familiar _snikt_ sound. "I'm losing him," Kitty says. You exchange a worried look with Xavier. You are wondering how you can help her when Logan thrashes around. His claws slice into Kitty's arm.

You can tell she's trying not to make a big deal out of it. But her breaths come shakily and you can hear the pain she's trying to hold back as small sobs escape her lips.

"Oh my god, Kitty," you breathe in disbelief. It's not Logan's fault, you tell yourself. He wouldn't hurt any of you on purpose. You make yourself useful and go collect the meager first aid supplies and bring them back to Kitty. You crouch at her side and busy yourself with the supplies. She is still so focused on her job that she barely glances at you.

For a moment you marvel at her strength. It's hard to believe that this is the same girl you took ice skating all those years ago. She's had to grow up so much since then. You all have.

You carefully pour what's left of the precious hydrogen peroxide onto a clean towel. "This will sting," you warn her, though you know she can handle it. With your free hand you arrange a small wooden pot to catch the blood. She has lost so much already.

At the moment, you wonder if it might be better if this all just ends. You want to spend the rest of whatever time you have left with Kitty wrapped tightly in your arms. After everything you've been through and everything she has done to prevent this from ever happening, it is not enough.

You know you will never convince Kitty of this, though. You know her and you know she will not give up, not until she has taken her last breath.

But maybe if you can persuade Professor Xavier...

You get to your feet. "I'm so proud of you," you whisper to her. And it's true. Despite all this has cost her, you _are _proud. You also think that _someone_ should acknowledge everything she's doing. Kitty doesn't reply. You're not sure she has the strength to. You bend to kiss the top of her head.

You dispose of the now bloody towel and empty the pot of its contents. On your way back to the room, Professor Xavier and Magneto are waiting.

"She's lost too much blood," you begin as you shift to face them. "She can't keep going like this."

"We have no choice, Bobby," Magneto replies, but not unkindly.

"We can wake him up," you argue. You can't stand this anymore. This is hurting her, killing her, and for what? You turn on your heel.

Xavier reaches out a hand to stop you. "They need more time," he states. You frown at him. "I had a glimpse into the past. If we wake Logan now we may set our fate on an even darker course. _They need more time_."

You settle back at Kitty's side. She turns to look at you. Her brown eyes are accusatory. You know she must know that you want this to end. She knows you too well. You sigh quietly and give her a small, sad smile.

Your attempt to end this has failed. She's going to keep going until the very end. It's brave of her, admirable even. You know she has made her decision and she's sticking to it. She has sacrificed so much already and you can't let her down. You won't allow it to be in vain. When the Sentinels come you will fight. Maybe it will be enough to hold them off. Maybe Logan will have fixed everything.

XxXxX

Warpath shouts from outside. "They've found us," Magneto breathes. Your former enemy marches off to join the others. Xavier frowns. You avert your gaze.

It has to be better than this. It has to.

XxXxX

You go back to thinking of your hypothetical family. Maybe you have a daughter. You picture sandy hair in pigtails and brown eyes. Nice thoughts.

Sounds of the battle outside rage on. You hear screams of pain and try not to match voices to your memories. These are good people. They are your friends. You see Kitty wince.

Magneto appears in one of Blink's portals. He limps backwards slowly. Metallic screeches tell you he's using the last of his strength to barricade all of you inside the temple. It looks as if he has been impaled by something if the gaping wound in his midsection is anything to go by. You can only watch in horror as he slumps to the ground.

Logan thrashes around some more. He screams. "We're out of time," Xavier murmurs. Logan's breaths come in gasps. Kitty continues to hang on to him as best she can. What you wouldn't give to know what's going on in the past. It's probably changed things for the worst.

"All those years wasted fighting each other, Charles," says Magneto sadly. "To have precious few of them back." Your former enemy reaches out for the professor's hand.

Overhead are the sounds that come with more Sentinels being deployed. You are the very last chance in what seems like an endless string of last chances.

Once more, you get to your feet. You march away from Kitty without a word. You feel her eyes on you and want desperately to look back, to say good-bye, but you are sure your resolve will break if you do.

You are going to die again. Maybe for real this time.

_Good-bye_, you think. _Good-bye. I love you_.

And as the Sentinel attacks you with a blast of Sunspot's stolen powers, your last conscious thought is that you hope it's enough.


End file.
